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Break Glass in Case of Emergency: My ADHD Paralysis Survival Guide



Do you ever feel like you have so much to do, that you can’t seem to do anything at all?

I remember the perplexed look on my mom’s face when I tried to describe to her that sometimes, I’m so overwhelmed that a basic adult task, such as calling my bank or answering an email feels too scary to do.

I understood her confusion. How could a 5-minute task—a task other people do as a break from their work—weigh so heavily on me that I freeze in the face of it?

Two years ago, at the bottom of a deep, dark pit of ADHD paralysis, I found myself on the internet, asking strangers for help.

I was, once again, buried under the ever-growing mountain of my incomplete tasks. It was a cycle I often found myself in: I planned and planned meticulously. I wrote and rewrote my to-do list. I scheduled my days to the minute, determined to get everything done, but no matter how much I wanted to, I could not seem to get myself to start.

In a desperate attempt to break out of inertia, I made a post on an ADHD subreddit asking for solutions. The response to that post is, to this day, the most valuable piece of advice I’ve ever received.

In just a few hours, the post was flooded with hundreds of comments and suggestions. I grabbed one of the empty journals on my desk and made a list. I wrote down every unique suggestion generously offered to me—both shocked and relieved at the commonality of my struggles. Although the post has since been deleted, the value I gained from it has transformed into a system of personally tried-and-tested strategies that help me self-manage my ADHD symptoms.

This was the first step in what became my personal ADHD Paralysis Survival Guide—a simple, 5-step actionable plan I created and modified over several years of trial and error. This is my offering to you today.

In this blog, I share with you how I break out of the cycle of anxiety and paralysis I fall into when I experience executive dysfunction. This is a personal testimony. I am not an expert by any means; I am only qualified to tell you what works for me. There is a wealth of scientific knowledge about ADHD, and I encourage you to do your own research and try out different strategies to discover what works best for you.

Now let’s discuss how to begin again.

ADHD Paralysis Survival Guide

The rules of the game are simple: start small and build momentum. When I experience ADHD paralysis, I tend to overestimate my capacity. I aim to do way more than I can realistically handle. Then, I feel so overwhelmed that I get nothing done, leading me to pile on even more tasks for the next day. The following techniques are my go-to steps to ending this cycle and getting back to equilibrium.

Step 1: Give Yourself a Reality Check

The first step to breaking out of ADHD paralysis is recognizing that you’re in it.

I don’t always operate at 100%. My energy levels fluctuate significantly, with several weeks of high productivity followed by periods of low productivity. During these low periods, it takes me twice the effort to complete half of my usual tasks. I cannot simply will myself out of task paralysis or pretend I am not in it. Learning to identify and accept that I am below capacity has been crucial to breaking the cycle.

  • How much do you get done when you feel energized and regulated?
  • What does a good day feel like?
  • How do you know you’re losing momentum?

Observe your own patterns without judgment or negative self-talk.

When I start to lose momentum, the first thing I notice is a feeling of anxious dread when I set out to do my daily routines. When I face my creative goals, I feel resistance, or what Steven Pressfield calls Resistance with a capital R—the voice of self-sabotage that “tells us not to work today and gives us a reason”.

Once you recognize that you’re in ADHD paralysis, you can actually do something about it.

By viewing it as an external issue rather than an internal failure, you can take action to resolve it, instead of engaging in self-blame.

Step 2: Throw Out Your To-Do List

I love to-do lists. But when I’m overwhelmed to the point of paralysis, the last thing I want to do is stare at the big scary dooming list of my overdue tasks.

Objectively, the items on your list might not be so difficult. On a better day, you might get all of them done without much thought. When you find yourself suddenly unable to, it’s hard to accept it. This is why that reality check in step one is so important.

It’s one thing to deliberately procrastinate, and another to struggle with executive dysfunction and ADHD. Sometimes, as much as you would like to just do it, you can’t. And that’s okay.

Step 2 is to let go of your to-do list and give yourself a fresh start.

Resist the temptation to delay action by staying stuck in planning mode. Do not make another list. Do not schedule. Do not prioritize. The idea here is to shift from planning to execution.

Forget about everything you have to do and ask yourself what you can do right now.

Step 3: One Bite at a Time

This is where we finally start getting things done.

Like many others who experience ADHD paralysis and executive dysfunction, task initiation is my biggest challenge. The most important technique I learned that day from my Reddit post was this:

To start any daunting task, break it up into smaller and smaller steps, until they are no longer too scary to do.

Here’s an example. If you feel too anxious to get out of bed when you tell yourself get up and get ready for work, try this instead: Tell yourself to sit upright on your bed. You might find that not to be anxiety inducing at all. Then, once you’ve sat up, tell yourself to plant your feet on the floor, then to walk to the bathroom, then to pick up your toothbrush, and so on.

Focus on the process, not the outcome. By smoothly transitioning from one bite-sized step to the next, before you know it, you’ll have eaten the entire elephant.

Step 4: Do the Bare Minimum

As a perfectionist, this was a hard lesson for me, but I’ve learned that when rebuilding momentum, the difference between doing something and doing nothing is astronomical. To find that something, negotiate with yourself and see what you are willing to do.

The key is to build momentum by doing the bare minimum first.

For example, if I am struggling to get myself to meditate, I will not commit to a 20-minute guided meditation. Instead, I will set a timer for five minutes, to focus on my breath or observe my thoughts.

Similarly, if I don’t have it in me to do my entire five step morning routine, I will pick 1-2 nonnegotiable items and do them to the best of my ability.

This approach also works with how I show up for tasks. If the only way to get myself to cook is to distract myself with a show, I will do that. If I want to work out but can’t get myself to drive to the gym, I will work out at home.

Again, negotiate with yourself.

Low-capacity states will not last forever. Over time, you will be able to show up in more mindful ways and with higher-level commitments. But to get there, it’s important to build momentum by doing the bare minimum first.

Step 5: Build Self-Esteem through Small, Consistent Actions

In Atomic Habits, James Clear writes that self-esteem is built through small, consistent actions. He describes self-esteem as self-trust, which is cultivated by consistently doing what you tell yourself to do.

This is the fifth and final step in the ADHD Paralysis Survival Guide.

Once you’ve built some momentum, see if you are ready to commit to a small list of daily goals again. Pick 1-3 goals you feel confident about. I usually return to my morning routine for this, because it sets me up for a good day.

Try completing the tasks, then reward yourself.

By keeping your own promises, you reinforce a positive relationship with yourself, which in turn increases your confidence and helps you take on bigger challenges.

Now, Let’s Begin Again

In the two years since I made that first post, I’ve experienced ADHD paralysis 6 or 7 times.

As challenging as it’s been, it’s forced me to develop effective systems and processes, and build a healthy relationship with myself.

Next time you find yourself overwhelmed and unable to make progress on your goals, try these 5 simple steps:

  1. Give yourself a reality check
  2. Throw out your to-do list
  3. Take one bite at a time
  4. Do the bare minimum
  5. Build self-esteem through small, consistent actions

I’ve curated this 5-step guide from my own personal experience. You might find that some of these methods work for you, and others don’t.

Remember that by recognizing your symptoms, you can address them without self-blame. Implementing steps like breaking tasks into smaller bites and focusing on minimal, consistent actions helps build momentum and self-esteem.

Finding what works best for you requires trial, error and most of all patience.

While I steer clear of toxic positivity, I remain a true believer in the power of adversity to build character. So, if this is my burden to bear, I accept it with gratitude and humility. I hope that this blog post, and upcoming ones, encourages you to approach your burdens in a similar way.

Now, dust yourself off, take a deep breath, and let’s begin again.

by mariamhabib
untreated / undiagnosed

How To Build Healthy Habits to Help Manage ADHD: 4 Beginner Tips + Habit Tracker

The best thing about making a habit of something is you don’t have to decide to do it every day.

Let’s talk healthy habits to help manage ADHD. In this edition of untreated / undiagnosed, we cover:

I started to become mindful of my habits about 6 years ago. I had just graduated university, and started working as a freelancer. It was a huge shift to go from being a student to being a full-blown adult. The bubble that I lived in during school had disappeared, and I found myself overwhelmed with all of the decisions I had to make—both big and small.

Until I came across this great quote by Annie Dillard:

“how we spend our days is how we spend our lives.”

I realized I don’t have to change my entire life; the small changes I make in my daily habits would become the big changes in my life.

Why Do Habits Help with ADHD?

Habits make tasks automatic. This has two advantages. Firstly, it reduces decision paralysis and helps you get a bunch of things done every day without overthinking. Secondly, it leaves no gap for that resistance you feel when you set out to do something, which often impedes task initiation.

I find that by incorporating more and more of my goals into daily habits and routines, I end up getting more done in the long run, without running into as many executive function problems in the short run.

Often, the problem with ADHD is not a lack of motivation or intention, but it’s that jump from deciding to do something, to actually doing it.

Habit-building essentially eliminates the decision-making part of the process and allows you to jump straight into action.

How Do You Start Building a Habit?

Building a habit is not exactly an easy process, and it definitely takes time. It takes anywhere from 18-244 days to solidify a habit. I’d say I fall on the higher end of that range. But ultimately there is no magic number. The key is repetition over time—to stay as consistent as possible, for as long as possible.

4 Tips for Building Healthy Habits

Here are a few tips from James Clear that helped me build a strong routine of daily habits over the last few years.

Firstly, you want to make it as easy as possible for you to do the thing you want to do. Give yourself time in your day to complete each habit. Always start small and build momentum.

This works in reverse too. If there’s a habit you want to break, make it harder to do. Make it so that you’ll have to jump through hoops to do it. 

The second tip is to keep reminders all around you. 

For example, if you want to read more, carry your book with you in your bag. If you want to go to the gym in the mornings, lay your workout clothes on your desk, so you’ll see it right when you wake up. Fill your environment with cues to remind you of your habits and goals.

Thirdly, don’t miss twice. This is a great rule, and it just means that if you miss one day of practicing the habit, just don’t miss another. Don’t miss two in a row. 

I know some people like to build habits by keeping streaks. Personally, this doesn’t work for me. Having to wipe the board and start over at zero feels disempowering. My self-esteem takes a hit and I feel demoralized. It makes it harder, not easier, to get back on the ball, which is the opposite of what you want to do. 

You can’t control everything. If something comes up one day, and you can’t find time or energy, it’s fine. Don’t feel badly about skipping a habit once. But, if you do skip it twice in a row, you lose momentum fast. It becomes really easy, to miss it a third, forth and fifth time. And that’s when you really have to start over. 

Finally, track your habits. I use a simple habit tracker I made that helps me track my progress and keeps me motivated. Tracking my habits this way has made my tasks into a game. It’s so fun to check off each little box and watch my stats go up.

How You Spend Your Days is How You Spend Your Life

Habits are especially helpful with ADHD because they can circumvent decision paralysis and task initiation problems. To build a habit, remember to make it easy for yourself to do, keep reminders in your environment, never miss two days in a row, and track your progress. By making small changes to your daily habits can change your entire life in as little as one year.

Download Free Habit Tracker

Start building your habits with Habit Tracker by the25thofjune! This is a helpful and fun tracker with a simple layout. To use the tracker, simply open the Google Sheet, make a copy, and add your habit goals!

by mariamhabib
untreated / undiagnosed

Process Over Outcome: How To Set Creative Goals

This is for the artist with ADHD—whether you’re a painter with a growing collection of blank canvases, or a filmmaker too anxious to share your videos. Let’s talk about how we can get out of our own way and make progress on our creative goals.

I used to call myself a writer who doesn’t write.

I had all these ideas in my head—a realm of untold stories—and I relentlessly failed to bring them together into completed pieces of work that I could share with the world.

I still struggle with that. My Google Drive is a bottomless pit of first drafts, my Notes app is full of bursts of ideas that I quickly typed up on my walks and then never returned to to flesh out, and I have journals upon journals of half-born poetry and prose.

But I finally published this blog.

Over two years after registering the25thofjune.com, I finally hit the “Publish” button—an exhilarating experience, by the way—one that I’d missed for a long, long time.

So, what changed? Did I suddenly become a better writer? Did I wake up one day without the fear of failure and judgment looming in the back of my mind? Did my ADHD get bored of me? No. But I learned something critical that completely changed the way I approach my creative goals, and I want to share that idea with you today.

Focus on the Process, Not the Outcome.

The most powerful ideas are so simple and obvious, that you almost can’t believe you didn’t think of them yourself. It quite literally feels like a lightbulb flashing on, or a glass shattering inside your brain.

For me, this idea was to focus on the process, and detach from the outcome.

It’s the central premise of Seth Godin’s 2020 book The Practice: Shipping Creative Work. In the book, he describes art as “a process without regard for outcome, a commitment to journey”. Seth is a renowned author, entrepreneur and thought leader in marketing and creativity. The Practice is a guidebook for artists who want to do more with their creative passion.

“Process over outcome” requires framing your creative goals in terms of your input, rather than your output. For instance, instead of aiming to get 1000 shares on your next video, you aim to post one video every week, or to film and edit for one hour every day.

The process itself becomes the goal. This isn’t just a better way to set goals, it’s the only way that makes sense, and I’ll explain why.

You Cannot Control Outcomes.

There is an important Stoic philosophy about the dichotomy of control, that emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between what we can control and what we cannot. The Stoics determined that external outcomes, such as success or failure, are outside of our control, and therefore, should merely be accepted, rather than attempted to be controlled.

This is captured in a great quote from the Greek philosopher Epictetus:

“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own . . .”

—Epictetus, Discourses, 2.5.4–5

Epictetus, who was born 2000 years ago as a slave in the Roman Empire, believed that we should make goals about things that are up to us. And the only thing up to us is what we do.

I cannot guarantee that this blog will become successful. No matter what I do, I can’t control whether or not people read my work, or like it enough to engage with it. What I can control is my own effort.

I can sit down every day and I can type.

And it turns out, that’s all it takes.


illustration by Francesco Ciccolella

When You Focus on the Process, the Outcome Finds its Way to You.

My goal now is write every day. I stopped trying to become a writer, and I started writing.

I don’t set a time. It doesn’t matter if it’s for two minutes or two hours—as long as I open my laptop and type. Framing my goals this way has completely changed the game for me.

It’s gotten rid of the anxiety that comes along with being attached to external outcomes, it’s given me clarity and simplicity, and it’s turned a big scary goal like run a successful blog into type words once a day.

By making my creative goals all about the process instead of the outcome, I was able to build the skills and practice necessary to publish this blog.

Are Your Goals About Things That Are Up To You?

If you’re staring at blank pages or empty canvases, I encourage you to inspect your goals. Are your goals about things actually within your control, like your actions, efforts and attitude? Or are they about uncontrollable externals, which have nothing to do with you?

You might be surprised at how much art you can create when you forget about becoming an artist, and just create art.

by mariamhabib