Do you ever feel like you have so much to do, that you can’t seem to do anything at all?

I remember the perplexed look on my mom’s face when I tried to describe to her that sometimes, I’m so overwhelmed that a basic adult task, such as calling my bank or answering an email feels too scary to do.

I understood her confusion. How could a 5-minute task—a task other people do as a break from their work—weigh so heavily on me that I freeze in the face of it?

Two years ago, at the bottom of a deep, dark pit of ADHD paralysis, I found myself on the internet, asking strangers for help.

I was, once again, buried under the ever-growing mountain of my incomplete tasks. It was a cycle I often found myself in: I planned and planned meticulously. I wrote and rewrote my to-do list. I scheduled my days to the minute, determined to get everything done, but no matter how much I wanted to, I could not seem to get myself to start.

In a desperate attempt to break out of inertia, I made a post on an ADHD subreddit asking for solutions. The response to that post is, to this day, the most valuable piece of advice I’ve ever received.

In just a few hours, the post was flooded with hundreds of comments and suggestions. I grabbed one of the empty journals on my desk and made a list. I wrote down every unique suggestion generously offered to me—both shocked and relieved at the commonality of my struggles. Although the post has since been deleted, the value I gained from it has transformed into a system of personally tried-and-tested strategies that help me self-manage my ADHD symptoms.

This was the first step in what became my personal ADHD Paralysis Survival Guide—a simple, 5-step actionable plan I created and modified over several years of trial and error. This is my offering to you today.

In this blog, I share with you how I break out of the cycle of anxiety and paralysis I fall into when I experience executive dysfunction. This is a personal testimony. I am not an expert by any means; I am only qualified to tell you what works for me. There is a wealth of scientific knowledge about ADHD, and I encourage you to do your own research and try out different strategies to discover what works best for you.

Now let’s discuss how to begin again.

ADHD Paralysis Survival Guide

The rules of the game are simple: start small and build momentum. When I experience ADHD paralysis, I tend to overestimate my capacity. I aim to do way more than I can realistically handle. Then, I feel so overwhelmed that I get nothing done, leading me to pile on even more tasks for the next day. The following techniques are my go-to steps to ending this cycle and getting back to equilibrium.

Step 1: Give Yourself a Reality Check

The first step to breaking out of ADHD paralysis is recognizing that you’re in it.

I don’t always operate at 100%. My energy levels fluctuate significantly, with several weeks of high productivity followed by periods of low productivity. During these low periods, it takes me twice the effort to complete half of my usual tasks. I cannot simply will myself out of task paralysis or pretend I am not in it. Learning to identify and accept that I am below capacity has been crucial to breaking the cycle.

• How much do you get done when you feel energized and regulated?
• What does a good day feel like?
• How do you know you’re losing momentum?

Observe your own patterns without judgment or negative self-talk.

When I start to lose momentum, the first thing I notice is a feeling of anxious dread when I set out to do my daily routines. When I face my creative goals, I feel resistance, or what Steven Pressfield calls Resistance with a capital R—the voice of self-sabotage that “tells us not to work today and gives us a reason”.

Once you recognize that you’re in ADHD paralysis, you can actually do something about it.

By viewing it as an external issue rather than an internal failure, you can take action to resolve it, instead of engaging in self-blame.

Step 2: Throw Out Your To-Do List

I love to-do lists. But when I’m overwhelmed to the point of paralysis, the last thing I want to do is stare at the big scary dooming list of my overdue tasks.

Objectively, the items on your list might not be so difficult. On a better day, you might get all of them done without much thought. When you find yourself suddenly unable to, it’s hard to accept it. This is why that reality check in step one is so important.

It’s one thing to deliberately procrastinate, and another to struggle with executive dysfunction and ADHD. Sometimes, as much as you would like to just do it, you can’t. And that’s okay.

Step 2 is to let go of your to-do list and give yourself a fresh start.

Resist the temptation to delay action by staying stuck in planning mode. Do not make another list. Do not schedule. Do not prioritize. The idea here is to shift from planning to execution.

Forget about everything you have to do and ask yourself what you can do right now.

Step 3: One Bite at a Time

This is where we finally start getting things done.

Like many others who experience ADHD paralysis and executive dysfunction, task initiation is my biggest challenge. The most important technique I learned that day from my Reddit post was this:

To start any daunting task, break it up into smaller and smaller steps, until they are no longer too scary to do.

Here’s an example. If you feel too anxious to get out of bed when you tell yourself get up and get ready for work, try this instead: Tell yourself to sit upright on your bed. You might find that not to be anxiety inducing at all. Then, once you’ve sat up, tell yourself to plant your feet on the floor, then to walk to the bathroom, then to pick up your toothbrush, and so on.

Focus on the process, not the outcome. By smoothly transitioning from one bite-sized step to the next, before you know it, you’ll have eaten the entire elephant.

Step 4: Do the Bare Minimum

As a perfectionist, this was a hard lesson for me, but I’ve learned that when rebuilding momentum, the difference between doing something and doing nothing is astronomical. To find that something, negotiate with yourself and see what you are willing to do.

The key is to build momentum by doing the bare minimum first.

For example, if I am struggling to get myself to meditate, I will not commit to a 20-minute guided meditation. Instead, I will set a timer for five minutes, to focus on my breath or observe my thoughts.

Similarly, if I don’t have it in me to do my entire five step morning routine, I will pick 1-2 nonnegotiable items and do them to the best of my ability.

This approach also works with how I show up for tasks. If the only way to get myself to cook is to distract myself with a show, I will do that. If I want to work out but can’t get myself to drive to the gym, I will work out at home.

Again, negotiate with yourself.

Low-capacity states will not last forever. Over time, you will be able to show up in more mindful ways and with higher-level commitments. But to get there, it’s important to build momentum by doing the bare minimum first.

Step 5: Build Self-Esteem through Small, Consistent Actions

In Atomic Habits, James Clear writes that self-esteem is built through small, consistent actions. He describes self-esteem as self-trust, which is cultivated by consistently doing what you tell yourself to do.

This is the fifth and final step in the ADHD Paralysis Survival Guide.

Once you’ve built some momentum, see if you are ready to commit to a small list of daily goals again. Pick 1-3 goals you feel confident about. I usually return to my morning routine for this, because it sets me up for a good day.

Try completing the tasks, then reward yourself.

By keeping your own promises, you reinforce a positive relationship with yourself, which in turn increases your confidence and helps you take on bigger challenges.

Now, Let’s Begin Again

In the two years since I made that first post, I’ve experienced ADHD paralysis 6 or 7 times.

As challenging as it’s been, it’s forced me to develop effective systems and processes, and build a healthy relationship with myself.

Next time you find yourself overwhelmed and unable to make progress on your goals, try these 5 simple steps:

1. Give yourself a reality check
2. Throw out your to-do list
3. Take one bite at a time
4. Do the bare minimum
5. Build self-esteem through small, consistent actions

I’ve curated this 5-step guide from my own personal experience. You might find that some of these methods work for you, and others don’t.

Remember that by recognizing your symptoms, you can address them without self-blame. Implementing steps like breaking tasks into smaller bites and focusing on minimal, consistent actions helps build momentum and self-esteem.

Finding what works best for you requires trial, error and most of all patience.

While I steer clear of toxic positivity, I remain a true believer in the power of adversity to build character. So, if this is my burden to bear, I accept it with gratitude and humility. I hope that this blog post, and upcoming ones, encourages you to approach your burdens in a similar way.

Now, dust yourself off, take a deep breath, and let’s begin again.